Dear Coach Pettine

It is November 24, and quite bluntly, I am pissed off. I believe a week ago you named Johnny Manziel your starting quarterback for the remainder of the season? Does that sound correct to you? Okay, cool, we’re on the same page then. He played well against Cincinnati, and again performed admirably against the Steelers (in a 30-9 loss, one of the only positives). You even said so, but of course its Cleveland and Monday a video surfaced of your enigmatic quarterback nodding to “March Madness” in an Austin nightclub with a bottle of Dom Perignon in his hands. Concerning? Sure, Mike. It is not what you want to see from the guy, I understand that. He has a history, but has done his job in the building this season (probably better than you have performed at yours, more on that in a minute). The statement released by the Browns said this decision was yours, and yours only. You are an idiot, Mike. Lets take a step back and review your current standing as the Browns head coach, this should be fun. Continue reading “Dear Coach Pettine”

Peyton Manning intends to play in 2016?

Shockingly, there is a rumor Peyton intends to suit up again in 2016, even if it is not with the Denver Broncos. I love Peyton Manning, great guy, funny commercials and a hell of a pizza chain. But are you kidding me Peyton? I was at FirstEnergy Stadium watching him play my Browns a few weeks ago disgusted. Of course we lost, but Peyton looked awful throwing the ball. I mean, his interception in overtime was dreadful. It is truly saying something that I would rather have Josh McCown quarterback the Browns next season than Peyton Manning. I know it must be difficult, but hey bud, you’re just done. No athlete should desire to go out in the manner Brett Favre did. Favre looked like Uncle Rico his last year with the Vikings. Scratch that, Favre looked awful; Peyton has been Uncle Rico this season. Continue reading “Peyton Manning intends to play in 2016?”

Something about Sundays

I loathe Roger Goodell, and his until recently tax-exempt league, he is the commissioner of. He is a smart f*cker, though. His ingenious exaggeration of the “Deflategate” saga involving Tom Brady’s suspension dissuaded the media pursuing further discussion of the domestic violence nightmare. For all we know Kraft and Goodell could have had the whole thing planned, the stogies and Woodford Reserve waiting in the league’s office. Continue reading “Something about Sundays”

Browns Quarterbacks: Ranking all 23 since 1999

Johnny Manziel has officially been named starting quarterback for the remainder of the season. The topic of the quarterback position for the Cleveland Browns is a laughable one. There have been 23 gunslingers under center since the expansion Browns returned to Cleveland in 1999. It is truly incredible how poor the quarterback play has been for this organization. I don’t know who or what to blame. Bad luck? Coaching? Or our god-awful string of GMs? It is just unlucky. The Packers go from Favre to Rodgers. The Colts go from Peyton Manning to Andrew Luck. I hate it. Continue reading “Browns Quarterbacks: Ranking all 23 since 1999”

Andy Dalton: Disgrace To Gingers

In case you missed it, the Houston Texans and JJ Watt defeated the previously undefeated Bengals 10-6 on Monday Night Football last night. Watt, the corniest athlete maybe ever, made a terrible joke regarding Andy Dalton being a ginger in a post game interview.

“Our goal was to come out here and make the Red Rifle look like a Red Ryder BB Gun, and I think we did that.” Continue reading “Andy Dalton: Disgrace To Gingers”

An open letter warning Matthew Stafford

Dear Matthew Stafford,

I don’t care how bad things are in Detroit, do everything within your power to prevent yourself from becoming a member of the Cleveland Browns. Pull a Carson Palmer. I don’t care. Say you either release me or I retire. It’s genius. Let some other poor veteran get his sh*t rocked week-after-week (What up Jason Campbell, Josh McCown). Continue reading “An open letter warning Matthew Stafford”

NFL Week 9 Picks Against The Spread

I hope my Week 9 picks are better than my abysmal Week 8… After the Panthers 29-26 overtime victory against the Colts, I ended the weekend with a record of 4-8-1. No worries, at the end of the season this past week will be seen as an outlier. That’s my story, and I’m sticking to it. All in all I learned a few things. The Raiders are for real, after disrespecting the Jets defense. Tampa Bay is rapidly improving after knocking off Atlanta on the road, and the Lions are laughable after embarrassing themselves against the Chiefs in London. I’ll alter my strategy this week and not rely on stats as much, going with my gut. Looking to flip the script against the spread this week. Continue reading “NFL Week 9 Picks Against The Spread”

Opposite Ends of the Spectrum: Three Keys To Victory for the Browns and Bengals

The Battle of Ohio features two teams in very, very different situations. The Bengals keys to victory come from a Bengals fan (special thanks to contributions from Adam Marshall). Please note the differing levels of optimism between a Browns and Bengals fan. One has nothing but blind hope, the other has an undefeated football team heading into Week 9 of the NFL season. Continue reading “Opposite Ends of the Spectrum: Three Keys To Victory for the Browns and Bengals”

Four Free Agents the Indians Should Pursue

The Cleveland Indians failed to live up to its lofty expectations for the 2015 season, finishing third in the AL Central with a record of 81-80. Bright spots included the starting rotation, rookie shortstop Francisco Lindor, the consistent Michael Brantley, and all-star second baseman Jason Kipnis (coming off of a disappointing 2014 campaign). The Sports Illustrated cover boys put together a run late in the season but could not make up for a slow start. The Tribe had a 2015 opening day payroll of $86 million (highest since 2001), and according to, they should have some money to address needs in free agency. The MLB releasedthe list of 139 free agents available to sign/negotiate with clubs beginning Nov. 7. Barring any trades pursued by the club (such as dealing Carlos Carrasco or Danny Salazar for a bat), there are affordable options for small market teams like the Tribe. Here are four players the Tribe could pursue to address position needs.

Continue reading “Four Free Agents the Indians Should Pursue”